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Duncan's Wedding
"Duncan's Wedding" is a mini-story that is part of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series. The Story It was on a day about a few years after Duncan McSmurf had met his female counterpart from Smurfette Island, Brenda McSmurfette, that the two Smurfs decided that they wanted to be married. The type of wedding that they both wanted was one based on the ancient wedding rites of the Clan McSmurf, so Tailor and his wife were busy sewing up kilts and warmaiden dresses while Smithy crafted swords and spears for the Smurfs to use as ceremonial arms. Both Papa Smurf and Mother Smurfette were unsure about a kind of wedding that made them feel like the Smurfs were about to embark on a battle, as the idea of being armed during a wedding was a very uncomfortable idea. Nevertheless, neither of them wanted to disappoint their two children who wanted to honor the traditions of their clan, although for both Miracle and Psycheliana they were only given wooden swords so that they would not hurt themselves. On the day of the wedding, Brenda was in Smurfette's house with her friends Sympathy, Artemis, and Siobhan, putting on her wedding dress and battle gear, which admittedly made her look like she was ready to take on the hordes that would come against her and her bridegroom. Finally she asked her fellow Smurfettes, "So how do I look, lassies? The look of a true warbride, eh?" "That look is definitely you, Brawnette," Artemis said. "I can't believe that we'd actually smurf this kind of wedding for you and that Gutsy Smurf." "His name is Duncan McSmurf, Artemis," Sympathy said. "You know that he doesn't like to be called Gutsy by anybody." "He's still Gutsy Smurf to me, as you-know-who is still Brawnette," Artemis said. "I'm still honored to be the maid of honor for this type of wedding nonetheless, my dear Brenda," Siobhan said. "I know in my spirit that Duncan will make you a happy Smurfette just as my dear Naomhan has made me one." "I'm just disappointed that the first real male Smurf that has smurfed into my life is already married, Siobhan," Brenda said. "Such a fine specimen he was that I would constantly dream of him and me smurfing together as allies both in battle and in love." "You mean Empath?" Artemis said. "Well, he was okay, but he wasn't the 'fine specimen' that I was smurfing for like Hefty was." "I could understand being physically attracted to the Smurf you love, Artemis, as I would imagine myself being alone with Empath," Sympathy said. "But there's just something more appealing about what's under the appearance that attracts me to someone like his friend Polaris." "Polaris Psyche?" Artemis said. "Oh, sure, if you like the cold emotionless types." "Personally I feel sympathy for the lad who has to smurf his life without the freedom of expressing any emotion, my dear Artemis," Siobhan said. "If someone like Sympathy can smurf any happiness in his life, I would want to make sure that he is truly happy." "He's certainly one-of-a-kind, I will smurf you that, lassies," Brenda said. Soon Empath appeared at the door, dressed in a kilt. "Excuse this smurf, ladies, but the wedding ceremony will be starting soon," he announced. "Well, this is it, Brenda," Artemis said. "Like it or not, we're going to be smurfing with you." "I truly appreciate this, Artemis, Siobhan, Sympathy...I really mean it," Brenda said as she looked at her friends as if it was going to be the last time of seeing them. She then joined Empath as he took her hand and escorted her to the carriage that would deliver her and her entourage to the wedding ceremony. ----- Meanwhile, at Bluebell Dell, where most of the Smurfs and Smurfettes were assembled dressed in kilts and war dresses, Duncan was with his friends Tapper, Hefty, and Tuffy as they were making final preparations for the ceremony. Tapper, being rather self-conscious, was wearing a chain mail sleeveless shirt with his kilt. "You sure have an interesting idea for a wedding there, Gutsy, having all your fellow Smurfs dress in skirts just like you," Hefty said. "Yeah, it makes me feel like we're smurfing through those time travel adventures we smurfed during the Lost Year all over again," Tuffy said. "Time travel nothing," Hefty said. "I mean, what is this supposed to be, a wedding or a battle?" "It's just part of the Clan McSmurf culture, my fellow Hefty," Tapper said. "Although this is not something that I would personally smurf for a wedding, I feel in my spirit that this is the right kind of wedding ceremony for our friend, to honor where it is that he and his clan had smurfed from." "I feel like a total badsmurf with these kind of wedding clothes," Snappy said as he swung his sword this way and that. "At least I won't have to smurf down the aisle with Sassette beside me in this ceremony." "Don't tell me that you're afraid to be smurfed in a kilt now, laddie," Duncan said to Hefty. "I'm not afraid of anything, least of all smurfing in this plaid skirt, Gutsy," Hefty said. "I just hope you're happy having your fellow Smurfs smurf through this ridiculous ritual of yours in order to marry that Brawnette." "Her name is Brenda, and I would not kindly smurf to you smurfing her anything else, Hefty," Duncan said. "Well, whatever smurfs you on, Dunk, I'm fully supporting you on this," Tuffy said. "And I am very honored to be with you as your best man for the wedding, my friend," Tapper said. Soon there was the sound of bagpipes and drums, signifying that the wedding ceremony was about to begin. "Ah, here we smurf, laddies," Duncan said to his entourage. As Duncan and his group of Smurfs stood beside Papa Smurf at the altar and the music stopped playing, Papa Smurf proceeded. "My little Smurfs and assembled guests, as the chieftain of this village, it is my right and privilege that I should unite two Smurfs of the Clan McSmurf in an eternal alliance with each other, that they may smurf with each other both in battle and in love with one another. This is a dangerous journey that they are both facing, and my hope is for this alliance to be a strong one so that their enemies know that they don't smurf a chance against them. May the one who smurfs this alliance speak forth his name." Duncan then stepped forward. "My name is Duncan McSmurf of the Clan McSmurf, and I seek an alliance with a formidable maiden that shall be my warbride. Is there one worthy enough among you who can fulfill the desires of my heart, both on the field of battle and off it?" "I seek to be your warbride," a female voice spoke out. Duncan and the Smurfs watched as Brenda was now escorted down the aisle by Empath, with Siobhan following as her maid of honor, Artemis and Sympathy as her bridesmaids, and Sassette as the flower girl. The bagpipes and drums played again until she joined Duncan at the altar. "My name is Brenda McSmurfette of the Clan McSmurf, and I seek an alliance with a formidable warrior that shall carry me forth in battle and beyond." Papa Smurf found himself stunned at the sight of Brenda in her wedding dress and battle gear, which distracted him for a brief moment until he regained his composure. "Yes, well, these are the two brave warriors who smurf an eternal alliance with each other. Are there those among the assembled who wish to challenge the right of those smurfing this alliance?" At that moment, Lazy just raised his arms to stretch, as he was getting tired from all the standing around. Papa Smurf saw Lazy raise his arms and said, "Yes, you! Smurfs, bring forth the challenger so that he may smurf his purpose for the challenge." Lazy looked around in surprise as he was escorted to the altar by a few Smurfs. "Hey, wait a minute, Smurfs! I wasn't smurfing up my hand so that I can..." "You!" Papa Smurf said forcefully to Lazy. "State your name and your intentions to challenge this alliance!" Empath realized that Lazy was going to need help, so he telepathically prompted Lazy to respond. "Uh, my name is Lazy Smurf of the Clan Smurf, and I seek to challenge this alliance so that I can smurf this maiden for myself," Lazy said as convincingly as he could. "This Smurf seeks a challenge?" Brenda said, looking at Lazy as if he lost his mind. "You know that such a challenge means a life or smurf duel with your challenger, do you not?" Duncan asked Lazy, which made the Smurfs and the Smurfettes gasp. With some more prompting from Empath, Lazy said, "Of course I do. I would rather smurf than let you smurf an alliance with the maiden that I choose to smurf as my own." "Then smurf your sword and challenge me like a real Smurfsman, if you dare," Duncan said as he drew his sword, ready for a duel with Lazy. Lazy then drew his sword, with Empath telling him telepathically to hold onto the sword and not to let go. Then the next thing Lazy knew, his arm was swinging the sword, completely under Empath's control, and he just simply went with the motions as he and Duncan traded blows with each other. "Wow, this is the best wedding that I ever smurfed a part of," Snappy said, as he stood beside Sassette and watched the dueling Smurfs in action. "Galloping gazelles, I didn't think that a wedding could smurf out to be something like this," Sassette said, watching the duel in fascination. "Gosh, I wonder which Smurf is going to win?" Clumsy asked. "Well, Clumsy, it's pretty obvious that Duncan McSmurf is the better-skilled fighter of the two, so the logical conclusion is that Duncan will be the victor," Brainy said. "Oh, this fighting is so barbaric that I can't even watch," Vanity said as he shielded his eyes with his hands. "I hate watching duels," Grouchy said. "If I had known that there was going to be a fight at the wedding, I would have smurfed snacks for myself," Greedy said. "Oh dear," Smurfette said to herself as she watched the two Smurfs engaging in a sword duel. She knew that Empath was in complete control of Lazy's sword arm, since Lazy wasn't really a fighter, but it still made her feel fearful for Lazy. The sword duel went on for a minute, and then Duncan knocked the sword out of Lazy's hand before he knocked him to the ground. Duncan pointed his sword toward Lazy and said, "If you value your life, you will resmurf your challenge immediately." Empath again prompted Lazy to respond. "Never. I would rather smurf than let you smurf an alliance with this maiden." Duncan looked like he really didn't want to fight Lazy, but he had no choice but to continue with the ceremony. "If that is what you wish, then prepare to join your ancestors." "I will seek an alliance with you, Duncan, only on the grounds that you let this Smurf live with the shame of his defeat," Brenda said, interrupting Duncan before he would strike Lazy with the final blow. "Ah, very well then, lassie," Duncan said as he sheathed his sword and reached out his hand to pick Lazy up from the ground. "You have fought bravely today, laddie." "Thank you, Duncan," Lazy said. The other Smurfs and Smurfettes clapped as Lazy picked up his sword and returned to his spot among the crowd. Papa Smurf let out a sigh of relief before he continued. "If there are no other challengers to this claim, then let us proceed. Duncan Ross McSmurf, do you swear eternal allegiance unto Brenda McSmurfette as her ally in both battle and in love, to cherish, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better or worse, until the time that she is called to join her ancestors?" "I swear, Papa Smurf," Duncan said. Papa Smurf then turned to Brenda. "And do you, Brenda McSmurfette, swear eternal allegiance unto Duncan Ross McSmurf as his ally in both battle and in love, to cherish, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better or worse, until the time that he is called to join his ancestors?" "I swear, Papa Smurf," Brenda said. Papa Smurf then called forth Snappy, who then brought forth a small treasure chest which contained the rings that Smithy Smurf has forged for the couple. "These rings made of gold will show that the two of you are insmurfably bound to each other for all time. You will smurf your own vows and in turn smurf the ring on the other's finger." Duncan was the first to take the ring. "Brenda, from the day I met you, I knew that I have found a true warrior who has captured my heart, and not just someone who would help make the name of McSmurf endure for generations." He then placed the ring on Brenda's finger. "With this ring, I vow that, from the smurfs of my own soul, to be the kind of Smurf that you want me to be, to smurf you everything that your heart desires no matter the cost, to make you the one and only Smurf that I will always love above all others." Brenda took the second ring. "Duncan, from the moment I smurfed eyes on you, you became the warrior that I wish to smurf my whole life to, that together we would conquer the impossible." She then placed the ring on Duncan's finger. "With this ring, I vow that, from everything that I smurf within me, I will be the Smurfette that you want me to be...to smurf you a home and a family that will always love you, and to have you as the one and only Smurf that I will always smurf above all others." "And so that this alliance is forever sealed, I will ask that the two Smurfs seeking this alliance will smurf from the same cup together, so that the whole world and the spirits of our brave ancestors will know that from this day forth, Duncan Ross McSmurf and Brenda McSmurfette are united as one alliance," Papa Smurf said, as he produced a cup full of red liquid that he placed on the table. "May this be what we smurf to our enemies," Duncan and Brenda both said as they looked into each other's eyes and drank of the same cup. "And now the warrior may kiss his warbride," Papa Smurf said. The Smurfs and Smurfettes both cheered and clapped their hands as they saw Duncan kiss Brenda with a very passionate kiss. "This is just so beautiful, I can't stop crying," Weepy said. "I hate crying at weddings," Grouchy said. As the ceremony proceeded, Brenda and Duncan were asked by Tapper to sit in chairs located in the middle of a square set up at Bluebell Dell. "This is a tune that has been a tradition at McSmurf clan weddings since the clan's formation," Tapper announced. "I have smurfed the wonderful privilege of learning it firsthand from my friend Duncan over the years, and now I feel it is time as part of Duncan's family that we all smurf together in this tune to express our best wishes for the newlysmurfed couple." When they sat down, they noticed the other Smurfs surround them in a circle formation with their hands clasped together. Miner stood forward and began to play a tune on a set of bagpipes that he rarely used. As the tune went on, Tapper, Barber, and Sweepy began to sing a song. By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes, '' ''Where the sun shines on our village. '' ''Where me and my friends spend many days '' ''In the safety of our village. T'was there that we parted in yon shady forest, '' ''On the steep sides of mountains. '' ''Where the broken heart knows no second spring, '' ''Resigned we must be while we're parting. '' After the three Smurfs had sung that verse, the others Smurfs joined in with singing. ''You'll smurf the high road and I'll smurf the low road, '' ''And I'll be home afore you. '' ''Where me and my friends will never meet again, '' ''In the safety of our village. '' As the Smurfs continued to sing the same verse repeatedly, they began running back and forth towards Duncan and Brenda. Tapper, Barber, and Sweepy started to sing a verse in a rather strange language several times. ''Ho, ho mo leannan '' ''Ho mo leannan bhoidheach "What's Tapper and those Smurfs singing?" Sassette asked as they continued to watch. "I think that means, 'Oh, oh my sweetheart, oh my sweetheart beautiful, beautiful sweetheart'," Nat answered. "Duncan's clan surely has some strange customs," Slouchy said. "I only hope Duncan and Brenda will be smurfy together as a married couple," Nat said. Duncan and Brenda could only clap and cheer as they watched their family dance to celebrate their union. ----- At the reception, Duncan and Brenda enjoyed their first dance together as Twanger, Fiddler, Miner, and Piper provided the music for the Smurfs to dance to. Greedy brought out a big cake that took Hefty and Tuffy to carry out together, with figures of the bride and groom created by Sculptor. Duncan and Brenda had fun stuffing each other with the first slices of the wedding cake that they cut together. Tapper and Vino provided lots of sarsaparilla ale and a special "blood wine" that was actually made of a fermented mixture of smurfberry and tomato juice. The Smurflings, however, were only given root beer to drink, as they were still too young to consume fermented drinks. Vanity with his photo-smurfer took a lot of pictures of the happy couple so that they could remember this happy moment together for the rest of their lives. Century, however, wanted a lot of pictures of himself wearing battle gear just so he could look at himself. "So how does it feel now that you're a married Smurf, my fellow Duncan?" Tapper asked as he served the "blood wine". "Ah, I feel like I am a true McSmurf at long last, laddie," Duncan said. "I just can't wait to be alone with her to share our private pleasures with each other." "That was indeed a fascinating wedding ceremony that we have just experienced together, fellow Duncan," Polaris Psyche said, wearing a kilt and a tam o'shanter over his normal clothes. "Were you expecting to fight Lazy as your challenger to the claim of seeking allegiance to Brenda?" Empath asked. "Honestly I wasn't expecting him to be my challenger, Empath, though he certainly smurfed up one smurf of a fight...which surprisingly turns out to be a style of fighting that you would use with a sword," Duncan said, looking at Empath rather suspiciously. "Really, Duncan, do you think Empath had anything to smurf with Lazy's ability to use a sword like he did in that duel?" Tapper said. "I'm just saying that only a Smurf with the spirit of a McSmurf can fight a McSmurf, that's all," Duncan said. "This smurf is only glad that we don't have to smurf this kind of wedding for every Smurf and Smurfette in our villages, or else things could smurf rather dangerous as it would have been for Lazy," Empath said. "Well, then, you surely will be missing out on a lot of fun, Empath," Duncan said. "But all the same, I would not ever mean to harm Lazy or any other Smurf in this village in that manner. Besides, the Clan McSmurf would never have its members smurfing harm upon anyone during a wedding ceremony." "That's something that will make Lazy smurf easy at night, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "This one would wholeheartedly agree with you on that sentiment, fellow Tapper," Polaris said. "So that's where my warrior is...smurfing out with the others of our clan," Smurfette said as she joined the three male Smurfs talking with each other. "It's time for Liana's feeding again, dear, so I'll be smurfing her unto you for that job." "This smurf understands, Smurfette," Empath said as he took Psycheliana into his own arms. "Come, my little warmaiden...let's find Greedy so that he can smurf us a bottle of milk that this smurf can feed you with." "That's part of what you're going to be smurfing for the rest of your life, my fellow Duncan, if this is any indication from our dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "I don't know which is tougher to be, a warrior or a mother," Smurfette said. "If my Brenda starts smurfing wee ones, lassie, she's going to end up being both at the same time," Duncan said. "I'm just hoping it's not anytime soon." "Whenever the Almighty wishes to bless you with offspring, Duncan, all I can smurf to you is to be prepared for it, because you'll have a dangerous mission of being both a warrior and a father," Tapper said. "Duncan, my dear, we need to prepare ourselves for our honeymoon journey soon," Brenda called out. "Aye, I'll be right there, my sweetheart," Duncan responded. He then laughed and said, "No sooner am I married, I feel like I'm now smurfing on a leash held by my wife." "It won't be that bad once you get used to each other, Duncan," Smurfette said. "Of course, you won't have the same leash that I have, being mentally smurfed to Empath's mind all the time." "Enjoy your private time together, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said, smiling. "We'll be waiting for you and your bride to return when you're ready to smurf the everyday life again." Meanwhile, Papa Smurf was talking to Lazy. "I'm sorry you got smurfed on the spot like that, Lazy, but it was Duncan's wedding after all, and I didn't know you were just stretching your arms," Papa Smurf said. "That's okay, Papa Smurf," Lazy said. "I didn't think I would have to be fighting him just so he could be married anyway." "Fortunately you're in the Smurf Village among your friends, and I know Duncan wouldn't smurf anything to harm you like that," Papa Smurf said. "Now go and enjoy yourself." "Yes, Papa Smurf," Lazy said. He went and joined his girlfriend Lullaby as they reclined together and watched the crowd of Smurfs enjoying the festivities. "I think you were a brave Smurf to fight Duncan like that, Lazy," Lullaby said. "But I really didn't want to fight Duncan, Lullaby...I was just accidentally smurfed up to the altar because I was so tired," Lazy said. "I know, Lazy, I know," Lullaby said. "Don't worry about it now...you won't have to be fighting anybody when we get married." "What a day that will be," Lazy said to himself as Lullaby fell asleep in his arms and he also closed his eyes to sleep. Trivia * Lazy being inadvertently chosen for stretching out his arms to yawn is based on a similar action by the same character in the cartoon show episode "The Smurfstone Quest". * The song sung by Tapper, Barber, and Sweepy at the ceremony is based on the one performed by the Smurfs in the Imaginarium-created wedding of Fergus MacSmurf and Wonder Smurfette in the HERO: The Guardian Smurf mini-story "Who Would I Have Married?" Category:Empath the Luckiest Smurf stories Category:Mini-stories Category:VicGeorge2K9's articles Category:Wedding stories